Ashley & Cheryl Cole

I cannot imagine what they are each going through, their four-year marriage now lying in tatters. The human, self-righteous part of me wants to call Ashley Cole a cretin, a 24-carat moron who did not understand what a good thing he had. But the grace of God calls me to a different response. You see, my sin is no less black than his, no less obnoxious to the holy God under whose gaze we all live our lives. I am no better than him, no less in need of forgiveness, no more acceptable to God or deserving of his grace.
My heart goes out to both of them and although Cheryl might be seen as the victim in all of this, I am praying for Ashley as well. His ankle injury is jeopardising his chances of playing in the World Cup, his professional and personal reputation is shredded, he's facing a possible £400,000 fine from his team and it looks like his marriage is over. It is so easy to say that he only has himself to blame and he could have acted differently, but that could be said of us all. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Many will say that as a role model, a man in the public eye that others, especially the young, look up to, admire and imitate, Ashley should do better, that it is right that more be expected of him. My concern is that the fact that someone is in the public eye does not in and of itself bestow on that person the necessary character to enable them to live up to elevated expectations. Just because everyone is watching me, does not mean that I magically become a better man. It's a little different for, say, a politician. A young person planning to enter politics will expect to have their life scrutinised, will expect to be held up to exacting moral and ethical standards and, given a modicum of self-awareness, will reflect on whether their character is up to the task.
For Ashley Cole (and I suppose John Terry), they would have had no reason to consider the strength of their moral character when they set out on their chosen career. They would not have anticipated the level of interest in and attention to their lives that would arise in years to come and even if they had, it would not be unreasonable to expect their reaction to be, "who cares? I can play football. That's all that matters". Clearly that's not all that matters. The content of our character matters for all of us, whether we are in the public eye or not. No-one should be unfaithful, no-one should betray their marriage vows, but my point is that it is ridiculous to expect that someone attaining celebrity will by itself have a transforming effect on their character. Even if someone was self-aware enough to see a problem we all know that character flaws have no easy fixes. Such flaws sit deep, with strong roots and are not easily rectified.
So I feel so very sad for Ashley & Cheryl Cole. I feel sad that their marriage seems to be ending. I feel sad that Ashley Cole must bear so much abuse from a vicious, self-righteous, hypocritical and judgemental press. I feel sad that he appears to have failed to honour his marriage vows and that he did not have what it took to make his marriage work. I feel sad that no-one seems to have come alongside him and said, "this life is tough at times, let me walk with you and help you find your way". He seems alone, which is the saddest thing of all. May God's grace be upon you both.